December 2008
“Be sure to stay with the group. The rats are very large and can sense weakness...”
– Tour guide giving hard look to four old women, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Julia
This Lady's My Hero (Vancouver represent)
Four-year-old boy, wielding plastic sword and shield: It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, it's a sword.
Four-year-old boy: No! It's a knife!
Boy's mother: No, no, no, Danny. Knives are for cutting. Swords are for vanquishing.
99 B-Line
Vancouver
Canadia
My inspiration. →
T.A.P.S.
Steve: AHHH! *jumps back*
Camera shows spider.
Steve: It’s not the biggest I’ve seen... but it’s waiting.
The lightbulb moment.
Jamie: Left-handed people live an average of seven years shorter than right-handed people.
Lauren (thinking): .....That's why there are more right-handed people.
WatchMerry Christmas?
(Seal ftw.)
“You will be forever missed my love.”
– Saying Goodbye to a Faithful Friend by Michelle Rizzolo
Nature: 1 Nurture: 0
Little boy #1: You remember we don't like girls, right? I don't like girls.
Little boy #2: Yeah, but you should have worn your dinosaur shirt. They're very in today.
--LIRR
“I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. Tigers are the sharks of...”
– Old man in hospital bed, to family.
Poughkeepsie, New York
Shoes.
Me: My shoes are bangin'.
Jamie: You don't know what bangin' means.
Me: O_o
Babysitting
Halie in a chat room: I like pie.
Random girl: It's too busy.
Halie: No it’s not. It's always there wehen you need it.
That
Deli | Canberra, Australia
Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”
Elderly customer: “SIX OF THE ENEMY PLEASE!”
Me: “… Sorry?”
Elderly customer: “Six of the german frankfurts!”
Me: “Oh, right…”
Who You Gonna Call?
Retail | Portland, OR, USA
Me: “Hi, can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, do you sell ghost vacuums?”
Me: “Umm… no?”
Customer: “Ok, well… thanks anyway."
In The Name Of All That Is Cheesy
Pizza | Pittsburgh, PA, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling *** Pizza, would you like the special?”
Caller: “No thanks, I’d just like a large Quattro Cheese pizza.”
Me: “Sure, no problem.”
Caller: “And… no feta on one side.”
Me: “Okay, no feta on one side.”
Caller: “I mean it! NO feta on the one side! GOD HELP YOU IF THERE IS FETA!”
Me: “Okay, no feta on one side!”
Well Played, Indeed
Costume Store | Orange County, CA, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling [costume store], how may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, do you guys have costumes?”
Me: *sarcastically* “No, I’m afraid we’re a tax accounting service.”
Customer: “Oh. Can I write off a costume rental on my taxes?”
One of the best ideas I've ever heard.
Jenny: I want to jack something. Ice cream. We should jack ice cream.
Chicago, Illinois
Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.
Overheard by: stunned organist
Pastor, during sermon: You never know what's gonna come outta somethin' till you squeeze it.
Methodist Church
Port Norris, New Jersey
lmao
Teen boy: (glares at brother, bites thumb)
Younger brother: Mom! He's non-verbally quoting Shakespeare at me again!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
Studying: Practical test of doom
Vicky explaining: ....and they eat spoild food and it fucks up the stomach and shit. Name 2 closed wounds.
Me very proudly: Bruises and contusions. Thank you Panic at the Disco!
.....
Vicky: Those are the same thing.
“It was late one night, a few years ago, when a young man was walking through...”
– Is Bill Murray NYC’s New Party Boy? | Page Six Magazine | The New York Post (via teabrodo)
Rosewood Mental Institution →
“If someone tells you a place is haunted, dont go in.”
teabrodo:
cultyouth:
Awesome place for a shoot, but I’d probably shit my pants.
These kids went at night.
who wants to go with me?
Girl: You have a rubber, right?
Guy (in Darth Vader voice): I find your lack of faith disturbing...
History professor, lecturing on the early 1900s: I mean, the problem of being the only person with a telephone is, well, who you gonna call?
Class, as one: Ghostbusters!
History professor: You kids scare me.
This was so helpful and I am so thankful to this... →
How to insert a youtube video in to your powerpoint slide.
“You can’t tell me you didn’t have sex! You just had a baby!”
– Professor Sandlin
“YO CAN I HAVE A PICTURE FOR MAH FRIEND?!”
“skeeved”
– word of the day. use it.
Ryder del Fin: chuck bass ftw
Ryder del Fin: I think i'm going to go to bed...
tsunamidriveby: chuck bass is really... he is such a jerk
Ryder del Fin: go figure
tsunamidriveby: bed sounds fantastic
tsunamidriveby: haha
Ryder del Fin: lmao
Ryder del Fin: chuck bass... --> bed sounds fantastic.
Ryder del Fin: lmao
tsunamidriveby: there's a guy with hair that's chin length and he sort of has a beard
tsunamidriveby: LMAO
tsunamidriveby: well, if you get over the jerk part
tsunamidriveby: yes. chuck bass in my bed does sound fantastic
At Breakfast....
Mary: The way you talk is not going to make the world go by faster.
Talking very fast: But I don't want the world to go faster.
Mary: Then slow down.