January 2010
“Breh Bra Bruh Brae”
– The four variants of “Bro” found in 2 Fast, 2 Furious.
Dear Rejects, All-American: Heightened concern has forced me to take action regarding your Twenty Ten Warped Tour dates. It seems you have forgotten to sign up for the Columbia, Maryland date, which happens to be on my twentieth birthday: July 20, 2010. See “All-American Rejects” has twenty characters (counting the dash and the space) and it fits in nicely with my twentieth birthday...
“There are few feelings worse than the sickening realization that you have done...”
“I swear you’re like in the movie when you watch it.”
– Amy
Full Moon names date back to Native Americans
Jan. 30, 1:18 a.m. EST — Full Wolf Moon. Amid the zero cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Indian villages. It was also known as the Old Moon or the Moon after Yule. In some tribes this was the Full Snow Moon; most applied that name to the next moon. The Moon will also arrive at perigee (it’s closest point to Earth on its non-circular orbit) less...
Heyyy, Talk to me like I am a human being and not just a guy who tells you what to do at work! As long as we are hiring you girls better be coming back because you both def rocked! I will tell everyone you said hi especially Radio, even though you are afraid of black people. Keep in touch and i will keep you updated on whether or not we will hire. Have fun at your “easy” school. With...
#56: PETA
american-apologies:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) was founded in 1980 and based in Virginia as an animal rights organization seeking to end abuse against animals. While PETA always claims to have the best intentions for animals, their methods have been anything but respectable. Even if you ignore the fact that they objectify women by sexualizing them for the sake of...
Dream a Little, Dream of Me.
So I had a dream. I was in my house equivalent, ya know, hunting a ghost. Then Sam and Dean show up, and then come in some Ghost Facers equivalents. But they had to go get something so I was left alone. I started to look for defensive weaponry in case I was attacked. I found some really long sweat scrapers, and went to ask my mom if they were iron. She said they were, but they were clearly...
“You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese....”
– (612) ahhahahaaok textsfromlastnight.com
“So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and...”
– (864) Hahahhha textsfromlastnight.com
Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It’s all organized by theSwiss. Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It’s all organized by the Italians.
(314):
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
(573):
pat the guy you slept with
(314):
still need a last name
“just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding...”
– (217) textsfromlastnight.com
“FUCK YOU”
“standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a...”
– (404) textsfromlastnight.com
“Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See...”
– (703) textsfromlastnight.com
“dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks”
– (734) textsfromlastnight.com
“Shit happens. Sometimes people have to take their medicine, and villains get...”
“Babies are children too.”
– Guest on Nancy Grace show. Insightful.
“A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he’s...”
– Demetri Martin
“‘I got a birthday this year!’ Me too, bro. Pound it.”
– Jamie. Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.
“I hope you have a special time with her.”
– What Jamie thought I said when I handed her a candy cane for the horse.
“Ribbit”
– Jamie holding up the bunny placemat…she made it hop.
“How can you not love Ty?”
– He’s like as ridiculous as I am.
“You might not be happy in the city, and you may not be happy with your job.”
– Wegmen’s parking lot. By my measure, that’s a whole lot of not happy.
I almost belived you for half a second
Nick: Boobies
Erica: i have some.....?
Nick: me too : (
......
Nick: but then i had surgery and they fixed it and they gave me perkisets haha
Erica: lmao you are all about the drugs.
Nick: it's not like i snort crack or anything :p
Erica: I do. :O
“What I do have is a GED and a give ‘em hell attitude. Dean Winchester.”
– (via ohgirrrrlllll) (via thesilentone) (via jerk-bitch)
And Dean, this is exactly what we love.
Did I Ever Tell You About the Time
Dad put the dog in the car to go buh-byes. Then when he came back home, he pulled into the garage and saw the dog still sitting in the other car.
Jamie talking about Sierra: Yeah, I don't think she likes that hot thing.
The farrier: That would be the forge....*thinking*....Unless you were talking about the farrier.
Me to Jamie, who is holding LuLu, who is being pushy: Yank on her!
Jamie shanks the leadrope (pathetically)
Me: You shank like a wuss.
The Farrier: ...I'm going to make that into a t-shirt.
